In the Rain [ James ]

[madie]

The pitter patter of the rain against the pavement did little to ease Sirius’ nerves, his breathing quick and uneven. Blood streamed freely down his face, his collar stained crimson, legs shaky and weak. He’d been walking aimlessly for almost an hour now, a week’s worth of beatings finally seeming to catch up on him. Running away from home had seemed like a good idea at the time... but Sirius had quickly realized he had nowhere else to go. He’d never had anywhere to go.

For as long as Sirius could remember, his parents had isolated him, belittled him. Not once could he remember a time when he’d been allowed to socialize with someone outside of his extended family. They’d restricted his contact to purebloods for a reason. They’d been ensuring his entrapment all along.

Letting out a sharp sob, the boy made a beeline down an alleyway, wanting nothing more than to just disappear. The thought of returning home was enough to make his entire body shake, his stomach churn. Surely, if he went back now, his parents would kill him. They’d probably bunt his name off the family tree already, and as far as Walburga and Orion Black were concerned... he was no longer any son of theirs. Sirius was nothing more than a blood traitor to them, a waste of space, a burden. It was all he’d ever been.

As much as Sirius tried to pretend he didn’t care, the empty feeling in his chest was proof enough that he did. He wanted a family that loved him – he wanted a family like James’.

A family like James’

Pulling himself up off the ground, the boy headed off down the street, trying unsuccessfully at ignoring the pain in his chest. Of all the wounds he’d sustained over the holidays, the mental scars were longest lingering. He could deal with the hexing and curses, the fists. Sirius could deal with physical pain... but the emotional? As hard as Padfoot tried to hide his pain, the emotional abuse had been the worst.

James had made it better though

Sirius’ mind had been made up- he was going to visit the Potters. Some part of him must have realized they were unlikely to turn him away; either that or he was growing desperate. The boy just needed someplace to crash for the night, someone to bandage his wounds.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Sirius pulled out his two way mirror, fighting off shivers. “Prongs!” He called, praying to dear god his friend would pick up.

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

The summer holidays were drawing to a close and James Potter wasn’t sure whether he was looking forward to going back to school or not. He had managed to scrape a few OWL grades, the highlight being an ‘O’ in transfiguration. (It had taken a lot of will-power to not just transform into his stag animagi right in the middle of the exam hall). He had proved that without much study he could still pass his exams and he had to say he was very happy with that indeed. He had worked harder though than he let on to his friends. There had been several late night library cram sessions before certain exams. Sometimes they hadn’t helped; the ‘D’ in Astronomy testament to that fact. But that didn’t matter anyway. Not like he wanted to look at the stars for a living.

James would miss his home comforts but he was probably missing his friends more. He was pampered at home and he was pampered at school, he supposed it didn’t make much difference. His mother always made an effort with meals; even at lunchtime she would cook hot food. James was an only child of an elderly couple therefore his parents doted on him. He wasn’t spoiled necessarily, just very well looked after. And it was something that James took for granted. He didn’t realise how lucky he had it sometimes even knowing that Sirius’ home life was pretty terrible. James however didn’t know the half of it. He sat at the desk in his bedroom, feet resting on top of it flicking through this week’s issue of his favourite Quidditch magazine and ignoring the pile of parchment that was his summer homework. No, none of it would be handed in. Ever. The teachers would ask him for it for a few days but once the first week was over and James had earned himself a week’s worth of detentions anyway, the handing in of homework would be forgotten.

It was whilst he was humming along to Celestina Warbeck on the radio that he heard a raspy voice calling his nickname. Startled he jumped up from his chair looking wildly around the room. Where was it coming from? His eyes met the radio . . . surely not? Nope, Warbeck was just singing about her cauldron of love. There were only three people in the entire world that called him ‘Prongs’ and only one of them had the means to communicate with him instantly. With a shake of the head (because he was an idiot for not realising it sooner. I mean seriously, why would his name be on the radio?) he shuffled through the litter on his desk until he found his two-way mirror. “Padfoot!” James cried cheerily. “What can I do for you, buddy?” James blinked a couple of times as he took in Sirius’ appearance in the mirror. ”Are you alright, mate?”

[madie]

Sirius cringed slightly as a whimper escaped his lips, his dog instincts seeming to have taken hold. It was embarrassing. Never before had he let James see him in such a state, never before had he even thought to ask for help. He was desperate this time though. His whole body ached... and Sirius was fairly sure his injuries surpassed his healing abilities this time. This time, Padfoot needed his friends help.

The boy let out a long shaky breath, seemingly blinking back tears, a dead giveaway that he was in fact, not alright. He had half a mind to jump through the mirror and strangle his best mate for even suggesting such a thing. Did he LOOK alright to him? ... he supposed not, or else his friend never would have asked.”James... I” He choked, resting his back against the wall for a moment, ”Can I stay at yours tonight?”. For the first time in Sirius Black’s life... he sounded desperate, pleading even. James was the last hope he had. If the Potters turned him away tonight, he truly had nowhere else to go. He would surely freeze to death in the streets... bleed to death perhaps. The thought in itself was a morbid one.

He just needed somewhere to stay the night; one night was all he was asking. After that, Sirius could drop out of school, get a job as a bar keep. He could clean rooms for a living, work as a typist in the ministry. It didn’t matter much what he was doing he supposed... just so long as he was out of that god forsaken house. So long as he was far away from his parents, Sirius didn’t care. It would be hard to leave his friends, he knew, but what other choice did he have?

”Merlin Prongs I... I swear I’ll be quiet. Your parents love me anyways right?” He smirked, attempting to lighten the mood somewhat. Mr and Mrs Potter were the closest thing he’d ever had to parents, it was true. Whether the pair loved the hell raising mutt however, was a different story entirely. He was their son’s troublemaking best friend, the one who spent more time at their house than he did at his own. He made jokes at the dinner table, pulled faces and broke things... bought them Christmas presents and sought them out on the platform. One could say he was the annoying puppy with good intentions.

Hissing slightly as he put weight on what was apparently an injured leg his left foot, Padfoot groaned. Apparently stopping in the ally way had been a bad idea. He had given his muscles time to cool down, the adrenalin time to wear off. ”Listen James... I’ll be at yours in a minute yeah? I’m only around the corner” He assured, flashing his friend a grin.

Perhaps his feet had unknowingly been taking him somewhere safe after all.

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

James would always be there for his friends. Loyalty was the trait that he was most proud of. He was glad he had been blessed with skill on the Quidditch pitch and he revelled in the fact that he could transform any object into whatever he pleased with his eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back. But it was the fact that he would always look out for his friends, no matter what, that he believed was his best trait. He was proud to say that he would do whatever it took to keep them safe, to make sure that they were happy, to even save their lives. He considered it the height of dishonour to betray your friends. He also believed that it was because of this attitude, that he had three such amazing pals. He didn’t know what he would do without them and he would never let them go.

No James you prat, Padfoot is not alright. You’re looking right bloody at him. He cursed himself internally. Why did people always ask if you were alright when the answer was clearly no! He couldn’t stay cross at himself for long though because Sirius quite clearly needed his help. James began to worry; he had never seen his friend in this bad a condition before. Nor had he heard his voice sound so . . . fraught. It made his heart tighten and his gut wrench horribly. ”Course you can!” James said quickly. He was already pulling open his bedroom door and heading downstairs to the porch. ”You’re kidding right?” James managed a smile because he knew it would go just a little way to helping cheer his friend up. It also made him feel better to see that Sirius was trying to be humorous as well. This was what they always did to cheer each other up. Although the situation had never been this serious before. ”They see you as a second son.”

Sirius and James together during school holidays was usually not a good combination but even James’ rather strict father insisted that Sirius was allowed round whenever. James knew his parents saw the friendship the two boys had and that he valued it immensely and so although Sirius could be rather mischievous at times (without James’ help even) it was endearing rather than frustrating and they both knew that he meant well and was appreciative of their hospitality. ”Mate,” James said, taking on the tone that said ‘you’re choosing the wrong option here, now please don’t argue with me.’ ”You’re obviously hurt. I’m coming to get you. Flash the mirror around so I can tell where you are.” Sirius’ hiss of pain had not gone unmissed on James’ side of the mirror.

He stuck his head around the living room door where his parents were relaxing. He told them that Sirius was coming round, could he stay for the night and that he was a little bit under the weather so mum, could you help fix him up? His mother jumped up immediately, dropping the book she was holding asking hurriedly what had happened to him. James told her he didn’t know. She gave him a concerned look before dashing to the kitchen to put on some soup, muttering something about clean towels. James dashed out of the front door, up the street and around the corner to the alleyway he had seen through his mirror and there was Sirius.

[madie]

Sirius had known the Potter heir long enough to realize he would overreact; it was simply in his nature. James had been raised in a good household, been blessed with parents who loved him. The boy was unused to the sight of blood, unused to being seeing his friend in such a state. In reality, it was nothing new. It was something the boy had lived with since the day he’d been sorted into Gryffindor. He knew it was something foreign to James however, and for that reason... he would attempt to play down his injuries. He didn’t want the boy to start freaking out after all.

Swallowing hard at the sound of James’ voice, Sirius felt himself physically relax. For the first time in almost a week, he felt safe. The knowing that he was so close to the Potter’s brought him solace, hope. Perhaps everything would be okay. True, he might have been without a house... but he was not without a home. Sirius would always have the marauders... and so long as he had them, he had a place where he was wanted.

Forcing out a laugh, the boy shot his friend an appreciative smile. ”Thanks mate” he croaked, grinning cheesily. It took everything he had not to break down in tears then, the hollow feeling in his chest gnawing at him like a fish at bait. ‘Your parent’s don’t want you’ ‘they’re right, you’re worthless’ ‘Why bother fighting? He’ll just leave you too’. The self-destructive thoughts came in the plentiful. It seemed the boy was slowly falling apart. Despite James’ attempts to keep him together, his defenses were falling. He’d been holding it in for too long. The truth of the matter was... he didn’t want to be someone’s second son. For once in his life... Sirius wanted to be someone’s first son. He wanted his life to be normal, his parent’s to love him, his brother to be sane. The Black heir wanted to things at home to be like they were at Hogwarts. He wanted it to be happy. Merlin, was that really so much to ask for?

”And James... really, I’m fine” He lied, attempting to subdue his thoughts. He didn’t want to look soft after all. Sirius refused to cry in front of his friend... he refused to look like a pansy. As injured and scarred as the animagus might have been... he wasn’t soft, he simply wasn’t.

Despite his false bravado, the look on James’ face was quick to expose his weaknesses. Now was no time for playing games it seemed. He couldn’t make it to the Potter’s alone. Sighing, the boy flipped the mirror, attempting to bite back a groan. James’ didn’t need to know how badly he’d been hurt this time. ”Yes mother...” He droned sarcastically, laughing.

It did not take James long to reach the ally, the absence of his face from the mirror already having put his friend on edge. Sirius was a lot tenser than before, a lot less... together. Everything was simply so... difficult. Why did everything have to be so difficult?

”Took your time didn’t you?” The boy choked through clenched teeth, trying desperately to smile. It couldn’t be hard, could it? Blinking once, twice and again, the boy attempted to steady himself. The world was very slowly beginning to spin, and he could feel his feet beginning to give way from beneath him.

”Merlin!” Sirius exclaimed, lunging for his best mates hand as his legs fell from beneath him. In a last desperate attempt to stay upright, he clung to his fellow animagus. Finally managing a smile, the boy grinned stupidly, grip tightening on James’ forearm. ”Hey.”

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

All James could hear was Sirius’ voice in his head ’Really I’m fine.’ Well Padfoot old friend, you really don’t look fine. James stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his friend cringing in obvious pain, bent double and gasping for breath. James’ jaw dropped open. It took him a good few moments for the scene to sink in; James could hardly believe his eyes. He had thought Sirius sounded and looked bad through the mirror but face to face in real life, the situation looked ten times worse. Of course Sirius was the type of guy who was all about bravado and acting tough; James was similar, even during Quidditch when he got whacked by bludgers and his head was bleeding or his arm probably broken, well he’d soldier on. Saying that, James wished his friend could realise that in these types of situations which were evidently quite life-threatening he didn’t have to act tough in front of his best mate.

It was Sirius’ words that struck him back into action. He rushed the last few paces towards him. Which was probably a good thing because it didn’t seem like Sirius could manage his own weight for very much longer. James nearly buckled under his weight when he threw himself at him but managed to grab him in time before they both crashed to the floor and Sirius wasn’t the only one with suspected broken ribs. ”Hey, whoa, steady. Ok.” James carefully steadied the pair of them, allowing Sirius to put all of his weight onto him. ”I’ve done nothing but lounge around all summer, my fitness isn’t at its peak so this short walk could take a while.” James tried to use his usual playful tone but there was an undercurrent of worry as well.

He couldn’t not ask for any longer. He was going to wait until Sirius was healed (and able to walk without assistance) before he questioned him but James’ worry had reached its peak and was overflowing, if he didn’t ask now he was going to burst. ”Padfoot, what happened?” James asked through deep breaths. There was a lot of effort involved in lugging two people along. The muggy evening air didn’t help; it made his chest tighten and have to take even deeper breaths. Not that he should be complaining; Padfoot was obviously in a much worse condition and had walked much, much further all on his own. Shut up, James, stop being so self-centred. He reprimanded himself. He turned his face to look at Sirius; waiting for what he hoped would be a truthful answer. Whether he was going to get one though, James wasn’t sure. He wouldn’t put it past Sirius to brush it off as nothing. "I'm your best mate, you can tell me." He decided to add imploringly.

[madie]

Sirius hadn’t realized quite how exhausted he was until the moment his feet gave way. At first, he had braced himself for the impact, fully expecting James to just let him fall. It was the direction his day seemed to be headed after all... downwards. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find himself in James’ embrace however, leaning against his friend for support. The boy seemed to have taken on the entirety of his weight, the pain from his leg having disappeared with it. ”Your fitness was never at its peak Jamie... we all know I’m just generally fitter and more attractive” Sirius said, smiling, a low rumble of a laugh surpassing his lips. ”It’s just a fact of life I’m afraid” He joked, attempting to ignore the worried undertone in his friends voice.

Resting his head on James’ shoulder, the boy let out a shaky sigh, mentally preparing himself for the haul home. Now that he had been made aware of the pain, Sirius found it impossible to focus on anything else. The boy was certain he’d snapped at least one of his ribs... deeply cut his leg, sprained his shoulder, spit the back of his head, bitten through his lip, dislocated some fingers... and the list went on. Everywhere hurt. Everywhere. Letting out another slight whimper, Padfoot allowed his friend to cart him off. Each step James took sent a new wave of pain jolting through his body, the unevenness of his breath doing little to calm his nerves. ”James nothing... noth—“ Sirius began, barely being able to spit a word out before James continued. He stopped then, unable to finish his sentence. James was his best mate... he could tell him anything. He couldn’t LIE to his best mate! He’d never lied to him before! Sure, Sirius had misled him, distorted the truth.... but never had he outright lied to James Potter.

”I don’t... I don’t know what happened“ The boy finally admitted, feeling tears freely flowing down his face. ”They just snapped Prongs... I didn’t even... I couldn’t... It was worse this time“ he said, sobbing harder still. And with that, all of Sirius’ walls came crashing own, a violent sob racking his frame. The boy knew he was making no sense, knew he shouldn’t have been breaking down in the rain... but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to break down in front of James’ parents, it wasn’t fair. The two of them would no doubt think him unreasonable anyhow. He was being completely ridiculous after all. His injuries weren’t that bad, were they? He’d live.

What was the big fuss about?

”They blasted my name off the family tree“ He sobbed, stopping dead in his tracks. It seemed as if the full force of the situation had finally hit the boy. He had no one now... nothing. His family might have hated him before, but at least they’d been his own flesh and blood, right? At least they’d been something. He had nothing now, no food, no clothes, no money- he had a wand and mirror to his name. How pathetic.

Wrapping his hands around his best friend’s neck, Sirius clung to the back of his shirt. In that moment, he cared not of rumors or misconceptions... he simply wanted someone to hold him, to stop him from falling apart. Sirius wanted someone to tell him everything was okay when it was clearly not. He wanted James Potter to lie to him, to make him feel better... to hug him back.

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

At least he was still making jokes. That was the promising thing. Although James expected that Sirius would make a joke on his deathbed however much pain he might be in. But still, his brain was functioning enough to be funny and if it helped to distract him from the pain, then James was all too happy to exchange banter with his friend. ”Yeah alright.” James said, he would have shaken his head but he wanted to waste as little energy as possible if he was going to have to lug Sirius home. ”No need to rub it in alright.” He said in mock anger. ”You get all the girls. I’m cool with it.” Sirius was fitter and better looking than he was; the army of girls that constantly followed him around was proof of that.

James wished, even though the journey was a short one, he had run it in just over a minute, that he was allowed to use magic outside of school. He knew of course that in life-threatening situations it was over-looked but he wasn’t sure that this counted. Perhaps if Padfoot collapsed on him he’d be excused. Obviously he hoped that wouldn’t happen. But Sirius was heavy. And James was carrying all of his weight and trying to be careful about it. James gave him a look as, as predicted, Sirius tried to brush it off. He gave him a ‘don’t even try to pass this off as nothing’ stare coupled with an imploring tone that he was his best friend. And Sirius spilled the truth. Rain was pouring down on them but James could tell that his friend was crying as well, the racking sobs that escaped his lips were nothing like James had ever heard and he knew that he wasn’t just crying out of physical pain, but emotional as well.

”Who did? Mate?” James felt a lot tiny bit out of his depth. He wasn’t entirely sure what the best thing to do or say was. He asked him who but he was pretty sure the answer was his parents; his suspicions were confirmed when Padfoot said that they had blasted his name off of their family tree. ”Why’d you want to be on that thing anyway?” James said jokingly. He’d seen a picture of the Black family tapestry, ”Ugly old thing.” James wasn’t ignorant enough to understand though, that it was what being blasted off the tree represented – Sirius had been outcast by his own family. James did the only thing he could think of doing, the only thing that felt right. As his best friend wrapped his arms around his neck, James did the same. Carefully, he embraced his friend, holding him, showing him that he was here and that he wasn’t leaving his side. Ever. And he said the only words he could think of, but they were truthful, he promised Merlin they would be truthful, ”It’s going to be alright.” The two boys stood in the rain for quite a long period of time, James didn't care that he was cold and wet and tired but he did care that standing here wasn't healing Sirius' wounds. "C'mon, we've got to get you patched up. You do still want to be fitter and better looking than me, right?"

[madie]

Sirius didn’t quite know how to thank his friend for being there, for catching him, for running through the rain to help him. He didn’t know how he could ever make it up to the boy. How did one go about thanking their best friend for this anyhow? Without James, he would have passed out in the alleyway, slowly bled out... died. Padfoot knew, despite his attempts to hide it, that James Potter had saved his life. Prongs had saved him...

“I’m surprised you even know other girls exist, mate... with your being so hooked up on Evan’s and all” He laughed chestily, sucking in a shaky breath. His hands clasped tighter around his friend then, the entire world spinning beneath his feet. Looking over at the blurred figure that was James Potter, Sirius smiled. Despite how ill he felt, despite his injuries... the disowned Black heir smiled. Prongs had come for him after all... the least he deserved was a smile. Later, when he wasn’t on the brink of keeling over, he would thank him properly. But for now, a smile would have to do.

Moving his feet in time with James’, the boy attempted to take some of the strain off his friend. At first, he tried putting a little weight on his uninjured foot, hopping beside his fellow marauder, doing his best to fight bad the hisses. His help didn’t last long however, the load eventually becoming too much for his body to carry. Sirius simply wasn’t strong enough to carry his own body weight anymore... he was exhausted. The dog animagus needed James to carry him, needed him to lug his dead weight. Tired though his friend might have been... Sirius simply couldn’t carry himself anymore. He needed Prongs to pull through for him- just as he had on so many occasions beforehand.

The boy found himself lost in the motions for a moment, the entirety of his energy being expended on simply staying upright. James’ words had broken the routine however, caught his attention. ”Padfoot, what happened?”. With that, Sirius felt himself beginning to crumble. Every bruise he’d hidden, every break he’d bandaged, every cut he’d healed seemed to bubble to the surface. The words cut the boy deeper than any curse had ever done... hurt worse than any unforgivable. Why hadn’t he told James sooner? Why did he have to make him ask?

Breaking under the pressure that were James Potter’s words... Sirius spilled his guts. He let himself break down, cry, feel. The boy allowed himself to open up to his best mate, pushed past his demons and spoke the truth. For once, he worried not of the consequences, of the impact on his brother, of his parents reactions... he simply let himself be comforted. The boy fell into his best friend’s arms and let his words soothe him, console him. ”I don’t think anything’s ever going to be alright again Prongsie...” He sobbed, burying his head in the crook of the other boy’s neck. It was not as if he were even being melodramatic this time? How could things get better from here? How could he survive without a family? How could he survive after having survive after having metaphorically spat in the face of the Dark Lord?

Sirius Black had signed his own death warrant by running.

”Let’s face it Jamie... even halfway beaten to death I still look better than you” He finally chuckled, a small smile pulling at the edge of his lips. Even if things fell to pieces from here... at least he had somewhere dry to stay for tonight

((OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY <33))

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

James merely laughed softly at his comment about Lily. Not only was James struggling for breath now that he was having to literally carry Sirius home, it also wasn’t important to dwell on. Sirius had been there for the last five years, by his side watching as Lily continuously rejected him. He had been there to pat him on the back and clasp his shoulder with a ‘maybe next time, mate’ comment. James always appreciated that support and the plots they would discuss together on how would be the best way to go about asking her out. James was slightly jealous when he saw his best mate going up to girls and having them practically begging him for a date before he’d even smiled at them. For hours on end, as he’d watch Sirius sneak off with the next girl, James would wonder how on earth he did it.

”Listen to me,” James said in a fiercely determined voice. He wasn’t having any of Sirius’ defeatist attitude. He knew his friend had every right to feel down but it was important to look at things positively. ”It’s going to be okay. You’ll stay with us, forever if you have to.” Sure, Sirius would always have a roof over his head, but James and his parents would only be a second family. Of course, Sirius obviously hadn’t had the best of upbringings but at the end of the day, blood was supposed to be thicker than water and James couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be rejected by your own flesh and blood and have friends who care about you more. James said a little prayer of thanks in his head that he’d been gifted with loving parents who although also were pureblood, didn’t think that was important and loved their family no matter what.

They’d reached the top of James’ street now. ”As for your family, screw ‘em. They don’t deserve you anyway, Pads. You’re a Gryffindor and you stand up for what’s right.” James hadn’t met his friend’s parents but he’d crossed many a paths with his brother and cousins at school and it was quite safe to say that he didn’t like any of them much. They were all arrogant, extremely fascist and not very nice people. James found it incredibly hard to believe that Sirius was actually blood related to any of them. They reached the front door; James fumbled for the handle and dragged them into the warm, dry porch. ”I’m proud of you.” He said, looking him straight in the eye and almost bringing himself to tears. In order to break the emotional silence, James made a joke, ”Try not to get mud on the carpet, my mum’ll kill you.”

He heaved them both into the lounge and carefully set Sirius down on the sofa. His mother instantly got to work. She’d worked as a nurse at St. Mungo’s for many years and was an expert at spells that mended breaks and fractures and the like. She’d have Sirius well enough physically in no time, as for mentally, James was sure that was going to take a little while longer. James went into the kitchen and with his father’s permission poured himself and Sirius a glass of firewhiskey. ”Do you want me to drink it for you?” He asked with a grin, holding up the glass as he wandered back to his mate’s side.

[madie]

Sirius knew James was the type of person who put his friends’ welfare above all else, the type of person who would skip a quidditch match if it meant looking after a sick friend. In any case, the boy had more patience than the eldest Black could have ever dreamed of having. Sirius surely would have given up carrying on James back to his by now... long since appairated them back (however illegally) and dealt with the consequences later. He was simply melodramatic... and last. He didn’t have the same level head as his friend. Had the situation been reversed, and the potter heir been doubled over struggling for breath, Sirius would have no doubt been screaming ‘death’ and ‘serious injury’, no matter how easily fixable the wounds might have been with magic.

Mrs Potter, James’ mother, had worked as a nurse at Saint Mungo’s for years... the truth of the matter was, there was no one better suited to healing her child’s injuries- or his own injuries for that matter. Sirius knew he would be in good hands... when they finally managed to stagger their way back to the house that is. ”Somehow I don’t think your parents would be too happy with me crashing on their couch for the rest of my life” He chuckled, shooting his best mate a grin, however false it might have been, ”I’ll get a job or something... an apartment”. Shrugging slightly, the boy allowed himself to be towed up the street, attempting to seem unfazed by his friend’s words. As easy as the prospect of ‘screwing his family’ might have seemed... Sirius wasn’t so sure that he wanted to. Horrid though they might have been, they were HIS family, HIS parents, HIS. Sure, they’d never been the type to go on family holidays or hug one another... but they’d spawned him. Without them he wouldn’t even be alive- not that any of them seemed overly keen on the prospect him remaining so. It was a surprise none of them had tried the killing curse really...

A wall of warm air greeted the boys as they stumbled through the front door, the new atmosphere seeming to have affected his friend in more ways than one. James’ mask seemed to fall for a moment, his own words bringing him to the verge of tears. As much as the look on his best mate’s face made him want to lean out and hug him... he knew now was neither the time nor place. Voice raspy and hoarse, Sirius somehow managed to choke out a response, suppressing his urge to ruffle the other boys hair. “Thanks Mate...” He mumbled, at a complete loss for what else to say.

Flopping down on the couch, Sirius could not help but smirk as James reappeared from the kitchens with a glass of firewhisky. Snorting, he took the liquor from his friends hand and sculled it back, reveling in the familiarity of the burn. He knew, beyond anything else in fact, that the alcohol would dull his self-destructive thoughts soon enough. It was almost as if he were back home, drinking away the sorrows.... only, he was in the Potter’s house, drinking by the fireplace. The thought alone was enough to make him smile.

”What do you think Potter?” He smirked, ”Does the brooding alcoholic look suit me? Or am I too clean cut to be an alco?”.

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

Ever the optimist was James. Maybe that was why he was so good in a crisis. It was definitely why he always went back for more after he’d been shot down once again by Lily. But he couldn’t even think the word negativity. Who’d want to live like that? Always fearing for the worst like a moody, over-bearing Slytherin? No, James knew that everything would always be alright in the end no matter what. It was how you dealt with refusal and set-backs that was important. He was always able to keep his calm when situations called for it. Someone needed to when Sirius was around.

James couldn’t help it; he rolled his eyes at Sirius. Sometimes, James understood how his fellow Gryffindor could possibly be a Slytherin Black. He had way too much pride. ”Did you actually just say those words?” James shook his head disbelievingly. ”Don’t be daft. You can’t drop out of school. My parents wouldn’t let you trust me.” His mother and father gave him a comfortable amount of leeway and it wasn’t unheard of for them to spoil him or let him get his own way but when the conversation about dropping out of school now that he had some grades had come up they had beat him over the head. His mother quite literally had whacked him with the dishcloth she’d had in her hand. James had been thankful it wasn’t the frying pan she’d been holding. The Potter’s knew how much an education meant in this world, told him he was lucky to have one and that he was going back to school even if they had to drag him there. James had quickly agreed.

Finally inside the house back in the warm and dry, James picked up one of the fresh towels that had been brought down for them and used it to dry off his hair. He dropped it casually on the sofa earning himself a scolding look from his mother but she said nothing, continuing to tend to Sirius’ wounds. ”Oh I’d definitely say it suits you.” James grinned back at him before turning to his mother. ”Is he all patched up yet? Me and Sirius are gonna go upstairs, yeah pal?” James craftily, behind his mother’s back gave Sirius a flash of the firewhisky bottle. He had nabbed it from the kitchen whilst his father wasn’t looking. ”So meet me upstairs?” James picked up his discarded towel before his mother could snap at him and bounded up the stairs to change into something warm and dry. Stupid, typical British weather, raining in August.

Not worrying about his glass, James uncapped the bottle of firewhisky and took a swig. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand he placed the bottle carefully on his desk and then lay on his bed, waiting for Sirius. Hopefully his friend wouldn't be too bothered by the fact that his room was a mess. Posters of every Quidditch team were plastered across the walls. Random bits of parchments with old and new mischief making pranks were scattered around along with piles of clothes, textbooks and sweet wrappers. No, James didn't like to keep his room tidy.

[madie]

”Either that or you’re hearing things” He said, rolling his eyes slightly. ”But I’ll think about it yeah?” He continued, grinning, knowing all too well that James would pick up on the underlying meaning behind his words. ‘I’ll think about it’ was Sirius-speak for ‘yes’, his pride making it near impossible for him to simply bow down and take the help. He had been raised with Black family values after all, been taught that crying was not acceptable behavior, that accepting help was a sign of weakness, that playing with your food was looked down upon. Harsh as it may have sounded, young children soon learned the correct way to behave when they were slapped for crying. In any case, Sirius was not the type to accept help readily.

Laying exhausted on the couch, the boys breaths came out heavy and uneven. Never before could he remember feeling worse, his every bone in his body aching beneath the weight of his frame. Considering how often Sirius had been left with broken bones, sprains and other things of sorts, it was saying something. His life had not been easy, not in any sense of the word, but if there was one thing to be said for Sirius Black’s life, it was that it could only get better from here. James was offering up his home, he was away from his psychotic family and... he had finally hit back. All things considered, things were looking up.

“I’m right as rain James, I’ll be up in a jiffy” He assured, lying through his teeth. Much to Mrs Potter’s credit, Sirius DID feel a lot better. His muscles still ached though, his limbs still a little stiff and jittery. Much of it had to do with the Cruciatus Curse he supposed... but it was not something he felt comfortable talking about. Mrs Potter couldn’t heal something she had no knowledge of after all. As far as he was concerned, the Potters never had to know the true reasons behind his leaving. He would tell James if asked directly, sure, he was his best mate... but he was not overly keen on telling other Potters. It would make things too real for his liking.
His mother had used the Cruciatus Curse on him. A curse most people had trouble using on their worst enemies. He couldn’t stay after that! Could he?

Taking the stairs two at a time, the boy rounded the corner into James room. Face alight with his first real smile of the night, the boy flopped back onto his friend’s bed. “You may be a slob James, but you steal me alcohol... so I suppose I’ll keep you around,” He chuckled, holding out his hand for the bottle “your parents are going to kill you though, I hope you know that”

Leaning over and snagging one of James’ hoodies off the floor, Sirius slipped the jumper over head, tossing back a swig of firewhiskey as he did so. The boy had every intention of getting drunk that night after all, the only question that really stood was, to what extent Prongs would allow him to do so? Or, more accurately, how hung-over would the two of them would be when James’ parents came to wake them in the morning?

[JAMES IGNOTUS POTTER]

In response to Sirius’ words James cocked his head to one side and then smiled, his eyes lighting up knowingly at his choice of phrase. He resisted the temptation to perceptively shake his head or even to roll his eyes (another favourable habit of his). Instead he just gave Sirius his secret smile that said, I know what that means but I wish you’d just say yes!’ Not that he’d change his friend for the world; he loved the slight differences between them and he loved getting pretend mad at him. It was fun and recently, James had been lacking siriusly seriously in fun. As much as he didn’t particularly enjoy the being educated part, he was desperate to get back to school. He actually thought that he was having withdrawal symptoms! He hadn’t seen his other two friends in weeks, not to mention he thought he’d forgotten what Lily’s face looked like and Severus Snape was certainly due some hurt for what he’d done at the end of last school year.

Brimming with his success, he was smiling contentedly at the ceiling as he lay on his bed. He was horrified by the events that had led Sirius here but here he was and that made James Potter a very happy boy. Although James wished, for Padfoot’s sake, that if he wanted to spend some time at his house he could use the usual method of owling him but Sirius’ family, as per usual in Prongs’ opinion, liked to mess things up. And of course his friend would hate to ask. That was the only reason James could see as to why it had taken this to get himself to the Potter’s house. That was going to be the first question on the Gryffindor’s lips when his friend finally got himself up here.

”Managed the stairs okay?” James sat up as he heard Sirius’ arrival and grinned across at his fellow marauder, raising his eyebrows at Sirius’ entering words. ”I’m honoured.” He said sarcastically. Watching him pull on one of his hoodies, James said, ”I think there’s some clean jeans in the middle drawer,” pointing towards his cabinets, ”You can have those but you’re not borrowing any of my underwear!” His tone changed jokily severe. Yes, Sirius had been through hell and James should probably be acting a little more concerned but there was something about having his best friend around that just made him relax and want to joke around and have fun. He handed Sirius the bottle with a shrug of his shoulders after taking another swig for himself.

”I’ll take my chances besides I think you need it.” Concern was now filtering into James’ expression and his eyes held that look that said I need to know. He didn’t want to badger Sirius he really didn’t but the fact that his best friend had been hiding just how bad it was at his house increased James’ urgency for information. He opened his mouth but no words came out, not because he didn’t know where to start but because he didn’t want to start. No one should be doing this; no one should be interrogating their best friend about an awful home life. It wasn’t fair. ”How long has this been going on for?” His words were suddenly serious, more serious than he intended. ”Mate, why didn’t you tell me?” He said weakly. ”You can tell me anything.”

[madie]

Rounding the corner with a grin, Sirius burst into James’ room like a small child on Christmas morning. He felt oddly empowered given the nature of his visit, an abundance of energy left flowing through his veins. Smirking despite his obviously discomfort, the boy flopped down at the end of James’ bed, leaning against the wall by his friends feet. ”Yeah, your mum fixed me up pretty good” he explained, shooting a smile in his friends general direction. Despite somehow having acquired an entire years’ worth of energy, the boy found himself at a loss for what to do with it.

Clad in one of James’ old band hoodies, Sirius could not help but smirk. At his friend’s mention of clean jeans and underwear, the boy ran his fingers through his hair, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. Had James mentioned the clothes but a minute earlier, perhaps the lion may have considered changing... but he was comfortable now, so there seemed little chance of him moving. He had no motivation you see? Sure, James probably didn’t want his sheets getting wet... and there was a chance he might catch a cold, but Padfoot honestly couldn’t care less. When push came to shove, he had absolutely no qualms with pulling the ‘my parents’ threw me out’ card- as horrid as it sounded. He could be rather stubborn when it came to these things.

”I always need it James... I’d have thought you’d have realized my alcohol dependency by now” Sirius joked, attempting to hide the fact he spoke half-truths behind laughter. The boy had steadily been increasing his reliance on alcohol with passing time, turning to firewhiskey as means to drown his sorrows. He couldn’t talk to his friends about some things after all, and alcohol seemed the only substance capable of numbing him. His friends knew... he was almost certain, but he didn’t think any of them had the heart to tell him. It wasn’t as if he were showing up to class drunk just yet. He had more class than that. When that day came however, he was sure Moony would have something to say about it.

Turning to James then, Sirius could not help but notice the pleading look in his mate’s eyes. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was coming next; his best friend’s expression said it all. The onslaught of questions was starting, much to Sirius’ dismay- and there was absolutely no escaping it. He had hoped to prolong the experience for as long as possible, in the vein hope that it might be forgotten... but it had been foolish of him to even dream it.

”Since I was eleven” he admitted reluctantly, averting his eyes. Sirius could feel the colour rushing his cheeks then, a feeling of embarrassment soon rising in his chest. What type of Gryffindor let themselves be pushed around like that? What type of person refused to hit back? He was weak and he knew it. His parents knew it too. Some part of him worried James might call him out on this too, but he knew better than to think his friend would do such a thing. It was his insecurities talking, he knew, but it still didn’t make the thoughts any easier to deal with.

A change in James’ tone inclined Sirius to curl up on himself, the guilt suddenly overriding the embarrassment. He had lied to his best friends after all, to James, to Remus, to Peter. He had intentionally hidden his home life from them, despite the fact they had all shared so much. Heck, Moony had even trusted them to keep his lycanthropy secret... and here he was hiding abuse.

Abuse. The word in itself was enough to make him sick to the stomach. “What was I supposed to say James? Where would that topic ever come up in a normal conversation?” He asked pathetically, attempting to justify his own actions.