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Post by LILY MARIE EVANS on Apr 18, 2012 22:15:01 GMT
 --------------------------------I think I'm falling in love with you
My heart is beating faster than I want it to---------------------------------[/color] It was currently going on a few minutes past midnight and the girls in the sixth year dorms were sound asleep. Well, most of them were anyways. Lily Evans was tossing and turning. Finally she decided to give up on sleep and rolled out of bed, hitting the ground with a gentle thud. She stood and groped her hand over the bedside table. Where did I put that-Ah. Here we go. Her hand brushed against the wand. She gripped it and muttered softly under her breath, “Lumos,” The tip of the wind light up and she got dressed. She whispered “Nox,” and the room went dark again. She slipped out of the dorm closing it gently behind her. Lily pulled her cloak against her as she walked through the hallways. This was another night that the sixteen year old girl had gone without sleeping for more than four hours. Not that she had tried anyways. A lot of things had been on her mind lately and it didn’t help that it crossed her mind at all odd hours. The most current battle that was being fought in Lily’s mind: James Potter or Severus Snape? Which one did she have feelings for? Snape had been friends with her ever since childhood. Had been because she had broken it off last year when he had shouted at her, calling her a Mudblood in front of the school population.
James’s situation was easy enough. They had been enemies ever since that fateful day on the train ride. Her impression had been right about him. He had been nothing but a bully at first. Harassing other students that he didn’t get along with. Severus was his main target and many people could not understand why she was friends with him in the first place. Sighing, Lily ran a hand through her thick red hair. Merlin what’s going to happen this year? She thought to herself biting down on the inside of her cheeks. The universe seemed to be throwing all kinds of things at her lately. I know I’m not going to get any sleep sometime soon, she thought ruefully as she blinked, slowly coming to her surroundings. She was in the Towers. Here’s another thing that I have to pay attention to. My surroundings. Particularly when it’s like this. She shook her head at herself. She was being foolish. She felt younger than sixteen. I wonder if there would be anyone at the Astronomy Tower. Lily mused to herself. This late at night only a couple of students were out and about. They were either going to the kitchen for a midnight snack or going elsewhere.
The direction was decided. Lily started making her way to the Astronomy Tower. A bit of star gazing won’t hurt her in the slightest. A thoughtful look crossed her face as she continued walking. As a young child she always knew she was different than other people that she had surrounded herself with. She was able to do things that couldn’t be explained, such as holding a dead flower in her hand and having it suddenly bloom again. When Severus had told her that she was a witch at first she thought he was being mean. It wasn’t until she got to know him did he tell her again and proceeded to tell her more about the wizarding world. It was a complete shock to her. She had remembered laying her eyes on the Hogwarts Castle before the sorting ceremony and thought that it was like something out of a fairy tale. There was a smile twisting on her lips. Her emerald green eyes sparkled with delight as she though back to her first year. The delight turned into an angry flash as she also remembered the Marauders. A group of idiotic boys running around pulling pranks and getting into trouble. The main idiot was Potter. The man always found some opportunity to ask her out. Every time she had told him no before walking away, but not before giving him a death glare. The red haired girl sighed and shook her head as she walked the steps to the Tower and took a deep breath, staring at the stars. The night sky was completely free of clouds. Perfect for star gazers, she thought with a smile on her face as she leaned up against the edge.[/center][/size]
Tagged!? Sevie!
Words!? 730!
Notes!? This shalt be epic!
Credit!? The credit is to Lily at .live forever.
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Post by severus on Apr 18, 2012 22:55:46 GMT
Severus didn’t even attempt to get to sleep that night. He had spent a majority of his time just sitting in the common room, watching everyone around him as they slipped off to bed. It was annoying, really, that they could all find their way to bed and not have any troubles with the world of dreams. He, meanwhile, was unable to get to sleep. And on those rare moments where he did drift off to sleep, he was attacked by horrible dreams. What did they mean? What did it mean if he saw himself as a Death Eater, looking to murder all around him? Or that he had been sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin? It seemed even his dreams couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do, so they decided to make him question things even more than he did when he was awake. With the guilt from what happened with Lily, and the sorrow over the loss of his mother, he hardly knew what to do with himself. All he knew, at that moment, was that sleep had become an enemy.
So he rarely sought out the comfort of his bed, deciding instead to fill the hours with something more productive. Sure, it was getting to him, but it was still better than the alternative. When it was dark, and everyone was asleep, he liked to work on his own spells and potions, or homework he hadn’t finished during the day. There was also adjusting the potions in the school books, making them more effective. Reading or writing weren’t uncommon, either. So many things he spent his time doing, and not one of them appealed to him on that night.
Somehow, he was feeling more restless than usual, like he needed to get moving or he would simply burst into flames.
So, once it was dark enough that he felt secure to do so, Severus got himself to his feet, dragging himself out of the common room and into the hallway. Maybe some fresh air would take the itching feeling in his legs away- he would stop feeling like he had somewhere he needed to be.
Walking, Severus let his feet guide him, having no real direction in mind. So familiar with the castle, he wasn’t too concerned with getting lost, so he allowed his mind to wander as he walked. Of course, the first thing to pop into his mind was Lily. He wondered if she was alright- if she ever thought about him. If she would ever look at him without glaring at him again. Not that he blamed her. What he had called her had been horrible and he didn’t have a very good excuse for it. She had been there, trying to help him, and he had turned on her for no reason. Why? Because he had felt cornered and needed someone to be there with him? Because he hadn’t been thinking and it just came out? Because he had been jealous of Lily spending so much time with James and lashed out at her for it?
Maybe it was a little bit of each.
Eventually, his feet directed him up to the astronomy tower. Class itself sucked when he had to go there, but it didn’t seem like such a horrible place when he didn’t have to listen to non-sensical ramblings about stars and their meaning. Maybe it would do him some good to get some fresh air under the stars.
Or… maybe it would be terribly awkward.
He froze in place, stunned at the sight of the red-headed Gryffindor he had just been thinking about. “L-Lily?” he offered awkwardly, simply unable to say anything else. What were the odds? “What… what are you doing up?”
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Post by LILY MARIE EVANS on Apr 26, 2012 21:11:21 GMT
--------------------------------I think I'm falling in love with you
My heart is beating faster than I want it to--------------------------------- [/color][/center] Lily continued to glance up at the sky. It was full of twinkling night stars. Some were brighter than others. Her ears pricked forward at the sound of footsteps but she didn’t do anything. That was until she heard her own name by an all too familiar voice. She scowled, thinking it was James and pulled out her wand. “Potter, I swear if you are trying to scare me it won’t work. So knock it off.” She turned around and froze on the spot. Her cheeks turning crimson. It wasn’t Potter, as she would have suspected, but her childhood friend. Well, her ex best friend mind you. “Sev?” The old nickname had went past her lips in pure habit. For a moment she looked like nine years old again. It lasted for two minutes before she shook her head, getting a grip on herself. “I couldn’t sleep Snape. Had a lot on my mind so I decided to get outside.” Which was all true of course. “I don’t suppose you could sleep either?” The question was asked in a level tone of voice but the glare was there. The glare that she had reserved for him and him alone. The piercing glare that made the receiving person wither around, uncomfortable. Lily quickly bit down on the inside of her cheeks. A lot of questions were running through her mind right now that she wanted to ask him.
Was he treated well at home by his father? And what about his mother? She took a deep shaking breath. “Erm….how are things at home? Is your father treating you well?” The last time we had spoken that is? She added to herself silently. Ever since the event, Lily always had pictured the two of them crossing paths again. She had always pictured what she would say to him. About how he had hurt her deeply when she was only trying to help him. She ran a hand through her hair as an awkward silence spread between the two. Some part of her wanted to run, run away and never look back. Lily held her ground. Her head was held up high and she was glowering at him. Her emerald green eyes were flashing with a mixture of hurt, anger, confusion. Mostly the first two. Five minutes into the silence she sighed. “I still stand by what I have told you before Severus. None of my friends could understand why I hung out with you. Nor could they understand why I make the excuses that I did. Perhaps I was trying my hardest not to let you fall into the darkness. Once you called me Mudblood, it was too late.” Sadness was in her eyes now. “Remember what I asked of you when we were little? Before we even started at Hogwarts?” The corners of her lips twitched upwards into a tiny smile.
“I asked you if it meant anything being a muggleborn witch. To that you said no, but you hesitated.” Lily couldn’t stop herself from speaking as the words tumbled out of her mouth. “I have always stuck up by you. Yet sometimes I wonder if it was my fault that you had called me a Mudblood. Afterwards I understood. It wasn’t my fault at all. You were trying to work the Death Eater thing.” Her eyes glistened with held back tears. She blinked them away with an annoying look. She tried to see the good in other people. Shame me once, shame on you. Shame me twice and that’s it. Lily had modified that old saying to her own liking. The red haired girl bit down on her trembling lip before putting her wand away. She then crossed her arms over her chest and continued to lean up against the edge of the Tower. Lily was eyeing him before she could speak any further. She wanted to hear what he had to say to her words. She wanted to know if he felt an remorse. [/blockquote]
Tagged!? Sevie!
Words!? 665
Notes!? I apologize for the lateness! Let me know if anything needs to be changed. Poor Lily.
Credit!? The credit is to Lily at .live forever.
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Post by severus on Apr 27, 2012 20:10:30 GMT
Severus frowned. He hadn’t managed to say anything when she asked about his home life. What was he supposed to say? Tell her that his mother was dad and his father seemed to blame that little gem on him? That he was starting to think he really had been responsible for her snapping? Was he supposed to tell her that he was miserable and he had never felt more alone in the world? No, he couldn’t tell her any of those things, simply because he didn’t want her pity being the only thing tying them together again. As much as he wanted to be near her, and by God he wanted to be near her, he wanted it to be because she forgave him, not because she felt sorry for him because he was going through some really rough things. If she knew the true severity of what was going on with him at his home, he knew he would never be able to get the Lily back that he wanted- the one where he wouldn’t have to wonder if she was only putting on fake concern to help him feel better.
He wanted the Lily from his childhood- the one he had fallen so deeply in love with in the first place, not some simulation of her played by the same person, but not really connected to the role.
So he let the question pass, thankful that she had so much else she wanted to say. Or… sort of thankful, anyway. He wasn’t that pleased by the comments. Once again she was telling him how angry she was with him, which led him to think that she wouldn’t be willing to listen to any of his apologies on this night, either. Even when they were both awake long after dark, seemingly pulled to the same area, the timing wasn’t right.
“Lily… that’s not why,” he said faintly, shifting awkwardly on his feet. The person he had been able to tell anything to, and suddenly he didn’t know how to begin speaking to her. Had so much really changed between them in so short a time? Was this all really his fault? ‘It was… so much more complicated than that… I was humiliated… I was hurting… I don’t know… I just wanted someone there with me. And then there was James- and I know he has feelings for you. I was jealous… everything just boiled over.” He frowned, looking at the ground. His reasoning didn’t match hers at all- he wasn’t sure she would believe any of it. She was convinced he wanted to be some kind of evil villain, just because he had been put in Slytherin. She was getting so mad at him for calling her a mudblood- labeling her based on what she was, but wasn’t she doing the exact same thing to him? Just because there wasn’t an offensive word for it didn’t make the sting any less.
But, he couldn’t explain that to her no matter how hard he tried- he wasn’t that articulate.
“I know… you think I’m falling in with a bad crowd… and maybe some of them aren’t that great… but they accepted me and they like me, for the most part. They’re… my friends. With you drifting further and further away from me, they were all I had. Yes, I wanted to stay in their good graces, but you have to believe me- I never intentionally wanted to hurt you. I wouldn’t do that, not even for them. I would sooner be the reject the whole school hates than say something like for such a meaningless reason… I wish I could make you see that…I’m sorry.”
He moved to the window, standing nearer to her than he felt he had been able to in months. It certainly felt nice, being able to be so close to her, but he wasn’t so sure it would last very long. She didn’t want to be near him, and he wasn’t going to force her to linger if she moved away. Sighing softly, he looked down instead of up, observing the very distant floor far below the tower.
Sometimes he wondered how long he would fall before everything finally stopped.
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Post by LILY MARIE EVANS on May 2, 2012 19:24:24 GMT
--------------------------------I think I'm falling in love with you
My heart is beating faster than I want it to--------------------------------- [/color][/center] The sixth year listened to what he had to say. Her emerald green eyes showed no emotion but a sad and small smile was creeping up on her lips. Her arms were still folded across her chest. At last she shook her head. “I was trying to help you Severus,” Lily reminded him. “I was trying to get Potter to stop before it gotten any worse. I wasn’t expecting for you to call me a Mudblood.” Flashes from her childhood went through her mind. The two of them playing in the woods next to their house. Him telling her all that he knew about the wizarding world. She was sucking up the knowledge. Once he had told her about the Ministry and the fact that absolutely no magic was to be done she had panic. Lily had done magic and she thought she was going to be arrested. She had relaxed once he said that when she started school that was when the Ministry would be keeping tabs on her. She frowned at him. “Sev…there’s no reason to be jealous over something like that. There would be no way I would end up with him.” Lily made a slight face. The scowl was back on her face but inside of her mind she was having a battle. A battle between her feelings for both boys. Severus was her friend from childhood. Someone who she knew inside and outside. Or at least she thought she knew.
James on the other hand…Well that was a different story. Lily had kept up the appearance of hating him so far this year. She felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach whenever she looked at him. Snap out of it Lily, she told herself sternly, feeling her cheeks turning red. “He may have feelings for me but he’s not the one.” The red haired girl lied. To make her feel better or to make the Slytherin feel better she did not know. All she knew was that it was complicated. Couldn’t things be more easier? Lily could not help but to raise an eyebrow slightly at him. “Not maybe Severus. I know all of them are not great. Including Mulciber and Avery!” Far from being relaxed, Lily was getting more stressed. Throughout the past four years she had been trying to get him to see how bad his so called friends were. She thought that he would finally see that last year when Mulciber had put Mary in the hospital wing. She took in a deep breath as she was thinking on what to say next. Lily was careful on choosing her words. The last thing she wanted was to start a fight. “I was hurt Sev. Once you called me that I knew we were walking on separate paths. Tell me this. If the incident from last year had not happened, where would we be at? Would you still call me a Mudblood?”
It was a question that had been on her mind for the past several months. She was, to say the least, startled when he apologized. Lily watched him move closer to her as she bit down on her lower lip. A worried look now mixed with the sadness in her eyes. She had often dreamed about this situation after she had cut off the friendship. There had been a lot of things she wanted to say. Now that she was face to face with him Lily didn’t know what to say. Instead she turned her head away from him. She was trying to gather her thoughts and her bearings. She was trying to think of something to say to him. This wasn’t like Lily to be quiet this long without saying something. The red haired girl blinked as she found a couple of tears that had leaked out at the corners of her eyes. Biting back a sigh she slowly turned her head to look at Severus. They shared so much together. Was turning her back on him really the best thing she could do? You know that was the right thing, a small voice in the back of her head told her gently. Sooner rather than later he would have ended up calling you a Mudblood. Don’t play the what if questions. Lily shook her head again to clear it from her mind. She was frowning slightly, in a way that Severus should know all too well by now. [/blockquote]
Tagged!? Sevie!
Words!? 739
Notes!? I apologize for the lateness! Let me know if anything needs to be changed.
Credit!? The credit is to Lily at .live forever.
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Post by severus on May 3, 2012 19:32:01 GMT
Severus turned his eyes from the ground below, bringing his attention back to what was important. Wondering about splats that would never happen didn’t do him much good, and it was only serving to distract him from the real issue- Lily Evans was still hurting because of something he had foolishly blurted out the year before. There was no part of that that didn’t make it his fault. If he hadn’t been such a jerk, she wouldn’t have been so offended by what had happened. Justifications be damned- he would likely never get her to forgive him for what had happened. Never get her to believe that it hadn’t been his intention to ever hurt her. He would have shot himself in the foot with his own wand than hurt her in even the slightest way. Even if he hadn’t meant it, it had happened. Maybe he needed to start accepting more responsibility for it, rather than trying to apologize again and again. Forgiving actions of the past was only half the battle.
He needed to prove he was different. Better.
“If the incident hadn’t happened… I guess I would have said it at some point down the line, in some other stressful situation. Maybe to show them that I was one of them, maybe to feel better about myself. But you’re right- it probably would have happened.” He didn’t want to lie to her and say he never would have even thought of saying it. He was stuck in a house where that word was expected to be used against certain people. The Slytherins looked at him, waiting for him to make his choice. Waiting for him to join them. That kind of pressure was something difficult to deal with, and probably not something Lily really understood. She had friends. She didn’t have to worry about making all the wrong enemies. About being entirely alone in the world. Maybe he should have been put in another hou-
No, he wasn’t even going to think such a silly thing.
“But Lily, you don’t think, after seeing what one word did to you, it wouldn’t change me? Maybe I would have said it at some other time, or to someone else, but maybe I also needed to say it. I don’t know… if I’ll make you understand what I’m thinking… but I’ll try my best. Verbal constipation is kind of a thing of mine, if you haven’t noticed.” He sighed more than chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“The minute I saw how hurt you were, I knew I made a mistake. It’s not like I went back to the common room and cheered about it- I haven’t even written that word since. Not about you, or anyone else. I know… that I shouldn’t have said it. That it’s not right. Whatever I thought at that moment, or whatever I might have thought during some fictional scenario, I was wrong. Can’t people say things once, realize their mistake, and grow? Do I have to be the bad guy destined to join the Death Eaters just because I said one word, once? I… I wish you had more faith in me. I wish you weren’t so settled on the idea of me walking a different path. Maybe I’m trying to get back onto the right one, after stepping the wrong way. People get lost sometimes.” He watched her, frowning and wondering if anything he was saying was even making sense.
Noticing the tears rolling down her delicate cheek, Severus reacted instinctively, moving a hand to touch her skin gently, his thumb rolling over her tear to wipe it away. This was the face of someone he had hurt- he didn’t like it at all. How could the other Slytherins get such a kick out of hurting someone else? Sure, it was easier when it was someone he didn’t know, but was that only because he was slowly growing more indifferent to the feelings of others? Maybe he was really changing- maybe he was becoming a cruel, dark person just like Lily thought. Without her around to show him mistakes, how long would it take before he really was just a Death Eater groupie?
He had a sudden, almost frightening feeling that she was probably the only one who could save him from himself.
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Post by LILY MARIE EVANS on May 14, 2012 19:19:38 GMT
--------------------------------I think I'm falling in love with you
My heart is beating faster than I want it to--------------------------------- [/color][/center] Lily didn’t say or do anything except to listen to him. There was a sad smile on her face as a look of worry passed through her emerald green eyes. For the past fifteen years she came to understand why purebloods do the things they do. She understood why things happen and probably understood their strange traditions. Except for Potter, of course, Lily probably could not name one pureblood who was not a supporter of Lord Voldemort. Just the mention of his name in her thoughts sent shivers down her spine. “Severus, I can’t pretend that I don’t understand the workings of purebloods or Slytherin house,” She told him now, a sad note in her tone. “I don’t want to see anyone else fall victim to their beliefs. No one including you.” It was a strange thing, Lily thought to herself just then. After the incident she had promised herself that she would cut off all contact with Severus. Most of her friends could not understand why she made so many excuses for him all these years. Hadn’t she stuck up for him back then? When they first started Hogwarts wasn’t she the one who started telling Potter off when he had teased the other Slytherin? One word can change everything in an instant. One word alone could make or break the relationship , or lack thereof, the two people had.
“I knew there would have been only that.” Her voice was soft. “It would probably have hurt me greater if the incident didn’t happen. I guess the one reason is why I would be any different. Every one of my birth gets called a Mudblood. Why should I be any different.” Those words had come back to haunt her. The same words that she had spoken to him before when she had cut off all ties. “I guess it’s because of the memories we used to have together. Those I can never get out of my head, no matter how hard I try to.” Lily had done some thinking over the year. She had come to a conclusion of some sorts. “I’m proud to be a muggleborn. Would my views changed had I not been born into a magical family? Maybe.” She paused here to listen to what he was saying and shook her head. “It’s not just one word Severus. It’s ‘that’ word. I hear it thrown around the halls and I just shrug it off. The people that were doing it, they didn’t mean anything to me. They were just my classmates.” The corners of her lips twitched upwards into a smile. “Don’t think I noticed that Sev. We basically knew each other inside and out. Well…almost anyways if you get what I’m saying.”
Her expression softened. “I never once assumed you were for bragging rights. The moment you called me that, well, my trust just slipped out. My whole judgment changed of you because of that.” He didn’t know of the what if questions that had occasionally been springing to the surface of her mind. She choose to keep that to herself and probably not tell him. Not now anyways, but one day. Lily hesitated trying to choose her words carefully. “I have tried to steer you down a different path. I have tried to make you aware of the friends…the people that you hang out with. I was trying my hardest to not have you become one of them. That’s my worst fear.” Her eyes glistened with tears as she raised her head to look up at him. “It’s not just the fact of faith Severus. Do you really want to join the Death Eaters? Do you really want to go around and saying that you hate the muggleborns and everyone else below you? Because I’m one of them.” Lily didn’t bring up his home life. She thought that they didn’t take kindly to halfbloods but she kept that to herself. When he reached out to wipe a tear away Lily did not fight back. She didn’t do nothing except lean up against him, which surprised her. It might have surprised even him but she would have to watch his reaction.
“Sometimes I find myself missing my best friend. The one that I had known before Hogwarts. The one that got caught up in this…in this dark arts act. I know that’s not him.” She spoke softly. “I know that’s not the boy that I had met in the park. The one who had saw me for what I really was. You kind of took me under your wing and taught me all I should know about the wizarding world remember?” Lily would never forget that. She would never really forget what he had done for her. “Childhood is innocence at its best.” She quoted. The red haired had forgotten who had said that but it was fitting for the situation, or at least she would like to think. [/blockquote]
Tagged!? SEV!
Words!? 824
Notes!? Memories <33
Credit!? The credit is to Lily at .live forever.
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Post by severus on May 16, 2012 19:08:08 GMT
Severus frowned, watching her. Listening. He knew where she was coming from, and how deeply he had hurt her, but it still felt like he would never be able to explain himself completely. To make her see that he was not the person she thought he was. Not yet, anyway. Maybe he had been making the wrong choices, but he had felt he had no other choices at the time. Especially after he had started to feel like she was moving away from him. They had befriended him, and told him that she shouldn’t be trusted. He had never wanted to believe them, but they had always told him that she would eventually turn against him and snub him for his beliefs. She would run off with the other Gryffindors and become just like them. It was a different side to the same coin. They both saw the same problems in what the other was doing. He didn’t want to be more like the other Slytherins, and he didn’t want her to be more like the other Gryffindors. If only they could be like they used to be.
If they didn’t have these houses, things would have been so different. Severus the Hufflepuff and Lily the Ravenclaw would have had a perfect relationship with one another, he just knew it. Not that he felt he belonged in Hufflepuff, but anything would have been better than a Slytherin and a Gryffindor trying to make their strained relationship work.
They were trying to build a card house in the middle of a hurricane.
When she asked him if he wanted to be a Death Eater, he frowned, looking away from her to have a think about it. He didn’t want to lie to her- that wasn’t going to make the situation any better. But what was he supposed to say? What she wanted to hear? What she thought was true? The truth seemed to be neither of those things. He watched her as she didn’t recoil from his hand, a little more than surprised that she was able to get herself so close to him without feeling awkward or angry. She was… so very close. He wouldn’t move for anything.
“I… don’t want to join the Death Eaters,” he said lowly, “but it’s not like I don’t want to join them, either… I’m sorry. I know I’m not making any sense. I guess… I just want to be a part of something, Lily… and they accept me, to a degree. More than almost anyone else has.” Almost. Lily had always accepted him more than any other. Even his parents. But that had been before this whole thing. Before he had lost her thanks to his own stupidity. “I know they don’t have the best values… or do the right things all the time… but the same could be said for anyone, really. I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.” He sighed, exasperated, and finally moved away from her. The only thing, it seemed, capable of getting him away from her was his own self-loathing. This confused, stupid boy was not worth the time of day of someone like Lily. He didn’t deserve to be touched by, or to be touching her.
“I feel like I have obligations now,” he said lowly, “like… I’ve stepped too far and there might not be a way back, now. What should I do? What can I do? I want to be that boy you trusted, I do… but how can I go back? Tell me what to do, Lily, and I’ll do it. I will do whatever I need to for you, I swear.” He watched her, wondering if anything he had to say was going to be enough to convince her. Since he was so confused, and he didn’t know about the Death Eaters being as bad as she seemed to think, maybe she wouldn’t believe him. Maybe she would be too stuck in her own beliefs, given to her by her Gryffindor friends, to consider the position he was in. It wouldn’t surprise him. To many, he was on the evil road. She had made it clear that was what she thought about the whole thing.
And he couldn’t really deny it.
He frowned, looking down at the ground again. God, he was such a loser. Who didn’t know what to do with themselves so far down the line? He couldn’t even make a decision one way or the other. One would think he would have a clearer picture of what was right for him and what was wrong.
But he didn’t.
"I love you, Lily," he said faintly, "you've always been my best friend... I don't feel complete without you. I don't know what to do anymore. What I'm becoming."
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Post by LILY MARIE EVANS on May 31, 2012 2:48:29 GMT
--------------------------------I think I'm falling in love with you
My heart is beating faster than I want it to--------------------------------- [/color][/center] The red haired girl wasn’t looking at her once best friend. She was just staring at the stars, trying to sort out her feelings for him. Did she really love him as she thought she did? Or was it just a phase, a simple crush and no more. Was Potter her new-Don’t think like that, Lily told herself sternly. You don’t love Potter at all do you hear me? He means nothing to you. To some people it would be funny to hear her arguing with herself. Especially on the subject of James Potter. She bit back a frustrating groan as she forced her mind to think of something else. It automatically went to the sorting ceremony and she made a slight face. The Sorting Hat had seriously considered putting her in Ravenclaw. “You know Sev, sometimes I wondered if things would have been better if we were in other houses. The hat had considered putting me in Ravenclaw. After telling me that I would not do well in Slytherin,” It was here that the corners of her lips twitched upwards into a tiny smile. “I swear, I think the hat can see into the future sometimes.” It was a thought that Lily did not like to dwell on at all. Instead she focused on one that had just popped up. It was this one that she had choose to voice. “Did the sorting hat considered putting you into a different house other than Slytherin?”
It was a silly question now that she had thought of it. Slytherin house was the only place where he belonged. It was the only place where he would be with Death Eaters. She slowly turned her head away from the sky and just looked at him. She was surprised at herself when she didn’t shrug his touch off. A few weeks after the incident Lily didn’t want nothing to do with him anymore. She had started spending more time in the Gryffindor common room with friends who she had gotten close to over the years. The same friends who had no idea why she still hung out with him. They couldn’t see why she was making so many excuses. Lily worked on the policy of seeing the good in people. People like her old friend that was standing so close to her. Once they had done something wrong she would cut them out of her life, never seeing them again. But if she worked on that, then why was Severus the only exception? A small frown appeared on her lips. “They accept you because you’re into the dark arts Sev. They cause nothing but pain and suffering to people that are different from them. Their victims are people like me.” She slowly reached a trembling hand before stroking his cheek. This lasted for a couple of seconds before she lowered it back to her side.
She listened to his next words and the frown deepened. “It sounds like you have a hard decision ahead of you.” She was only stating the obvious, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. “I don’t pretend to understand. They never do the right thing. They kill innocent people simply for their blood status.” Lily was having a hard time keeping her voice level. The only sign of anger was the flash going between her emerald eyes. She watched him moving away and could only sigh softly to herself. The sixth year blinked, rather startled at his next words. She wanted to tell him to stop being interested in the Dark Arts. That was his one downfall. The one thing that could get him into major trouble. “I can only tell you this Severus. Do what you want to do. I just don’t want you to go deeper into the path you are now. I can’t tell you to stop being interested in the dark arts and everything. I fear that it would, one day, lead to your death.” A small shudder went down her spine. Did she really want to see him dead? Did she really want to see his lifeless, cold body on the ground? The so called ‘Dark Lord’ laughing like crazy? That thought alone wanted to make her cry. She wouldn’t give in to the temptation. She was much stronger than that.
Her eyes widen at his next words. She could feel a blush coming on. “It depends on what you mean by love Severus,” She was doing her best to keep her voice soft and level. It trembled slightly. “This past summer…I started developing feelings for you.” She couldn’t believe that she was actually telling him this. “At least….I thought I did. There’s also someone else,” Lily mentally kicked herself at telling him this. Her mouth was running on a mind of its own. “I….Sev, you’ve always been someone that I adore ever since we were little. Every year you slipped away, little by little.” She gave him a rather sad look. [/blockquote]
Tagged!? Sev! <333
Words!? 830
Notes!? I do apologize for taking so long!
Credit!? The credit is to Lily at .live forever.
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