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Post by caleb on Jul 4, 2012 8:04:52 GMT
 WHEN YOU'RE AT THE END OF THE ROAD & YOU LOST ALL SENSE OF CONTROL ,& your thoughts have taken their toll[/color] ,[/size] ---------------------------------------------------------------------It was Friday night. And it was normal to find this young man already stumbling around the hallways of Hogwarts this late at night. Well everyone else was having a party; Caleb had won’t to drown himself alone. He really wasn’t the party type, I mean he was he did enjoy a nice party once and awhile, but sometimes the guy just wanted to get drunk by himself. And today was a special day for Caleb. Today mark the day his mother left this world. It was still a day that burned in his mind; it would never go away no matter how much he drank or slept around. If only see could see her baby boy now. He chuckled at these thoughts as he rounded a corner and almost fell over. He had one maybe two, or he couldn’t remember how many sips he had had in the boy’s dorm before he had wanted to head to Hogsmeade. Where he normally spent his Friday nights drunk out of his mind and in the morning he would end up in someone’s room within the Hog Head. The bar keep didn’t seem to mind giving Caleb as much alcohol as he wanted, because Caleb barely had any money to pay for anything, he’s so call father had disowned him and there was no one on his mother side to help him out. Maybe the bar keep felt bad for the young man because of everything that was going on. He had been able to keep his bottle of whiskey under his bank a secret and he had been able to stumble out of Hogwarts without anyone seeing, maybe it was because it was late Friday night and everyone was either partying with their friends or they were in bed sleeping, which is where he should be right now if he was any normal type of person, but he wasn’t. This is who he was.
As he made his way towards Hogsmeade, he thought about the events that had leaded him to this. He would have been fine if his father had even care a bit for his son, but no he threw them away and his mother had died because of it. Now he was happily married with a pureblood woman and had two children. Who he cared about dearly and gave them everything and what did he give Caleb nothing. He had no money; he barely paid for his things at Hogwarts. A young women he had met during his years here had helped him with those things, the basic things, books, school supplies, robes and everything else, and in the end she had just used him for her and her families enjoy as well as most of the pureblood community and his fathers. He could still see their faces in his mind, laughing at him like he was nothing, just a piece of dirt, something they could use and throw anyway. That’s when he really had stopped caring about anything; he didn’t care what he did. That’s when the drinking had started to get worse. He fumbled for a smoke in his jacket pocket, licking it as he walked, or rather stumbled towards the lights of Hogsmeade. He breathed in, as the smoke filled his lungs; it was familiar taste and a good way to distress whenever he needed it. That was another thing he had gotten into smoking. Whenever he had to deal with something he would end up lighting up a smoke to just deal with it. He was a mess, but he didn’t know any other way. He had grown up around a drunken mother and many abuse foster homes.
He took another puff as he ran a hand through his hair, he just wanted to get to the three brooms sticks and forget everything this night. Just like so many other nights before this. He was use to drinking alone, he wasn’t really one to make friends, he was really a friendly guy and could be a gentleman, but he couldn’t open up his heart again, not after it had been ripped out. Really he didn’t trust anyone anymore, and more so women. He didn’t want to go through that all again, once had been enough for him. That’s why he normally pushed people away and kept to himself. Good old jack was his only friend these days. Before he knew it he was in the streets of Hogsmeade, some places where closed and there lights were out, but the lights within the Hog Head’s Tavern were still going, and you could hear voices within. The three broom stick was a nice place to have a drink as well, but that was more if you were spending the day hanging out with your friends and enjoying a nice butter beer. But if you really wanted to waste yourself, well then the Hog Head’s was the place to go. He was headed there now, ready to get the night started. When he reached the door he put out his smoke and headed in. There were a few people in the tavern already and he headed right towards the bar.
The bar keep nodded and started to pour him a drink. Caleb looked around at the people already there; a few of them weren’t too bad looking. He turned back when his drink was put in front of him. He held it up and nodded to the bar keep and he went back to his work. Well this is for you mom, Caleb thought in his head as he poured the glass of whiskey down his throat in a matter of second, feeling the burning gone right down to the bottom of his stomach. Well that was just the beginning. He waved at the bar keep to come back over and he asked Caleb if he would like another, “Just give me the whole dam bottle”, he said and reached across the bar and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the man. The man just shook his head and went back to talking to someone on the other side of the bar. Caleb’s hand shaked as he poured himself another drink and downed it. Now he stared down at his empty glass and at the bottle that was now missing some of the liquid that was missing from it. He didn’t look up as he heard the door of the tavern and someone walks in.
---------------------------------------------------------------------TAGGED !? Olivia! !?
HOW MANY !? 1078 !?
LISTENING TO !? Say Goodbye by Skillet !?
LYRICS BY !? GREEN DAY - 21 GUNS !?
CREDIT TO !? RORA @ C. AFFAIRS[/color][/b] !?[/size][/center] |
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Post by OLIVIA JOSEPHINE SELWYN on Jul 6, 2012 3:18:36 GMT
 [style=color: 969696; font-size: 35px; line-height: 10%; font-family: times new roman; text-shadow: -1px 0 white, 0 1px white, 1px 0 white, 0 -1px white, 1px 0 white, 0 -1px white, 1px 0 white, 0 -1px white] ` break me, shake me, [style= width: 300px; height: 255px; padding: 15px; overflow: auto; font-size: 9px; text-align: justify;]olivia had been doing well. she had been finally on what she felt was a path to dealing with all her screwed up issues and moving on with her life. it was going to be a slow, painful process, but she felt that she was on her way now. something had clicked and broken inside of her. she didn't know how and she didn't know the exact moment it snapped, but she knew that it was now broken and she was trying her hardest to push forward and move past the pain and start to rebuild the shredded pieces of her. she was trying to catch up with her school work, she was trying to stay away from alcohol and parties and boys. but that was before today.
today there had been an owl for olivia. this was an unusual thing for olivia as she really had no one to send her owls. her family didn't speak with her, and therefore the last people she would be getting an owl from would be her parents. and now that she was at hogwarts all her friends were here and could reach her here. when the owl was delivered, olivia was hesitant as she gazed at the envelope carefully, curious as to who the mystery sender was. as she opened the envelope it quickly became clear to her who was sending her mail. the handwriting seemed vaguely familiar, but the address at the corner of the letter was etched in her mind. the letter was from zack's parents, mister and missus jones. olivia's breath caught in her throat as she read the letter, her heart in her throat as she tried to keep her breathing regular.
the jones' were moving. they were leaving their family home and moving to a smaller house. they wanted to let olivia know their new address in case she ever needed to come by. 'you know you're always welcome here. our home has always been open to you, no matter the address.' the words on the page hit her hard. ever since zack had passed away she hadn't been able to deal with his death, therefore she hadn't been able to go over to his house or see his parents. it made everything that much more real. and real was something olivia was having a hard time doing. but that wasn't the only reason they had sent her a letter. they had been going through old stuff, packing up boxes and sorting through some of zack's old stuff. they had found some old pictures and scraps of letters that they thought she might have wanted. they had sent the photos and letters in the envelope and olivia fingered them, seeing his words on the page and his face in the photographs, alongside her own. they looked so young, so innocent. why did it have to end?
olivia had to run out of the great hall, afraid she was going to burst into tears there and then. her heart was pounding but she kept it inside. she hated crying. she hated feeling and even though she had thought she had come so far with dealing with zack and grieving him, she was not ready for this. she hugged the letter to her chest, wanting to erase the past few moments from her life. this should have been just another challenge for her to accept and get over. it should have been another step in her healing process. but that was not how olivia felt. olivia felt her world spiraling out of control once again and though she wished she could forget the friendly words on the page, she couldn't. they, along with zack's face were burned into her mind and replayed there. the jones were too kind. she didn't deserve their kindness when she didn't respond to their requests for her visits or when she ruined zack's memory in the way she did by drinking. all they wanted was the best for olivia, and they had become almost surrogate parents to her while she had spent time there over the years with zack. and now she turned them away, selfishly not wanting them to embrace her still into their lives. 'take care of yourself. we love you liv,' were their signing off. how long had it been that someone had told her they loved her? her own family disregarded her and here these parents were, who had lost everything, still wanting to shelter and give olivia love. it was just too much for olivia. she couldn't handle the pain, the pressure.
running back to her room she grabbed a bottle of rum she had hidden among her belongings. she took a huge swig, glad for the initial shock of it all. tonight she wanted to forget. she wanted to drink her problems away and forget the letter, forget the laughing photos of the boy whom she would never see laugh again. she took the letter and photos she had set on her bed and threw them in her trunk, hoping to somehow make the memory disappear. though her heart raced and her breathing pounded in her chest she vowed she would not cry. tonight was not a night for crying. those nights had come and gone. tonight she was out to wipe away everything. the pain, the hurt, the guilt - everything she felt she wanted gone. and hogwarts was not the place to do it.
she managed to get out to hogsmaede without being noticed. thank goodness she had spent enough time within the walls of the castle to know a few short cuts and secret hiding spots. as she walked down the streets of hogsmaede, she took another large gulp of her rum. they really didn't make these bottles big enough, she thought as she downed another drink. there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to make her feel better right now. but she damn well was going to try.
she gazed around, wondering where her best option would be. that's when she saw the hogs head. perfect, she thought, strutting over towards the bar door. the hogs head didn't have the most optimistic company, but then again, she wasn't in the mood to be optimistic. she was in the mood to sit in a booth or on a bar stool, get completely smashed and pass out, hopefully in a few years if she could get away with it. alright, so that wasn't realistic, but she wished more than ever she could just turn off her brain and hide away in blackened sleep until all of this was too far away to reach. years seemed appropriate. she had no idea how she was going to get over this. two steps forward, and five steps back was how she felt right now.
she saw the bar straight ahead, and walked over to a bar stool, plopping herself down on the stool beside a man she recognized. he was from hogwarts. older, she believed, but in her house. she noted the bottle of whiskey in his hand and pulled out her bottle of rum, holding it up slightly for him to see. "i see we have something in common. not enough glasses, so just give us the whole bottle!" olivia spoke, a foolish grin spreading across her face as the alcohol began to set in. she took another drink, feeling the numbing sensation along the back of her throat and down to her stomach. that oh so familiar, numbing, wonderful feeling. olivia let out a sigh of relief, living in that moment of nothing but numbness. she turned her focus over to the man sitting next to her and cocked her head to the side. "so what's got you all fucked up that you're drinking? betcha i can top it," she spoke confidently with sarcasm and sadness in her voice. the alcohol was beginning to take effect, and thank goodness for it, she thought.
[/style] TAG: Caleb . words: 1,326 . NOTES: this shall be interesting :) [/style] |
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