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Post by lita on May 16, 2012 22:02:36 GMT
((OOC; I would like to note, that the post below may be triggering to anyone who reads it. As a writer in my spare time, I can get detailed with it. I toned it down considerably for our younger readers... but I scanned it and figured I better leave a note for everyone... JUST IN CASE, KAY. <3 )) one more day down these stairs, his room is cold now and it hurts like hell. he holds tight, he stares. it’s almost over and it’s running through his head. they don’t know me, they don’t know more than i show.
-------------------- It had been a beat down that Lita would never forget. Perhaps not the worst emotional scar of her life, but the reasons behind the severity of this particular fight with her step-father (and step-brother, as he had begun to travel down the wrong path as well), was the sole fact she had broken free of her shell and was beginning to stand up for herself. Demetrius never lay a finger on Lita, but Samuel? For anyone keeping count, you probably lost count of shoves and punches after a while when Samuel started his assault.
What had caused it?
The blonde had revealed she was going to spend this particular holiday with her cousins. Not that they were any better an influence on her, but at least they'd treat her like a human being... mainly because, they hadn't a clue about the girl's magical abilities. As far as anyone in the Spades family was concerned, Lita was simply attending a private school. "Samuel is so good to you, paying for your private school."... yea, sure. If only they knew. At any rate, the intoxicated man wasn't having anything of it, and after a good ol' fashioned screaming match between the pair of them, that's when the abuse happened. This time, though? Lita fought back. She fought back with everything in her, and when she managed to kick him off of her, she made a dash for it. The plan was for her to pack up what clothes she needed, and then take the train to her cousin's place... well, no time to pack. Lita simply left without even the thought of looking back.
When she had shown up at her cousin's, they hardly asked what happened - they simply let her in, allowed her to clean herself up, and then let her into the guest room. Nightmares haunted her; awoke screaming, and after a few days, she finally swallowed her pride and asked to sleep with her cousin. Being concerned, Jessica allowed such a thing... yet as the days went by, the girl so easily influenced got dragged into the party-like life style of her cousins. Because she hadn't packed anything for herself, she had wound up wearing her cousin's clothes - and with such a revealing clothing style, came the attitude to match. Lita began to like the attention she got from guys. She began to like the partying, and the sleeping in, and the carefree muggle attitude. The clothing. The make-up. The hair, and the fun!
Oh, to be a muggle.
This particular night, Lita had been ditched by her cousins. They had decided on a party they wanted to go to, but hadn't bothered to invite Lita - not because they didn't want her there because she was "uncool" or anything of the like... they were beginning to see her fall into their life-style too easily, and knew she couldn't possibly handle it. If it got any further, then she would be in trouble. Deep trouble. Drugs and alcoholism trouble. That's not to say Lita didn't help herself to the rum in the fridge as soon they left her there. After a happy amount of buzz, the youth left the house in an outfit that was sure to catch attentions - even if the street lamps were already beginning to light and the world outside was growing ever dim. Make-up heavy around her brilliant blues was not natural for her, nor was the amount of cover-up and lip gloss covering the nasty open gash on her lip from Samuel. Having rubbed at it all day and let it wear away, however... the red and angry looking scab was visible.
Ripped up and pinned t-shirt. Tight jeans. Knee length boots? What happened to the shy and sweet Lita that everyone at school picked on? Teased? Ignored? She broke when she finally met Severus Snape... and she broke down when Balthazar stole her diary and it started getting leaked around the school that she was a muggle born. That she was in love with Severus. That she was a punching bag to her step-father, and that she would rather fling herself off a cliff than have anything revealed. Ughh. Groaning to herself as she mulled over such things, Lita could only assume Snape hadn't heard the rumors yet - otherwise, he'd have confronted her about such things, right?
Having walked a fair distance and watched the street lamps brighten, the Slytherin girl sighed, taking a brief pause to stare up at the scarlet, pink, purple painted sunset. It was beautiful... something Lita took for granted now-a-day, when before she could be caught sneaking out to the Astronomy Tower to watch the sunsets. The eruption of shouts and sound of crashing furniture caught Lita's attention; her body jumping in natural reaction to such violence. Kicking at the choppy sidewalk quietly, the girl considered simply continuing on her way, leaving whoever it was to fight in privacy... however... Curiosity killed the cat, and Lita was a stray looking for trouble.
Moving over the front lawn carefully, Lita glanced over her shoulder a few times to make sure she wasn't being watched, and when she reached the small window of the house where the fight was taking place, the girl crouched down and hid herself beside the small basement window. Another good glance around - and a wince or flinch here and again to certain words said, and various slapping sounds (obvious abuse) - and Lita finally tilted herself, peeking through the window cautiously. At first, she only saw shadows - the dark drapes obscured her view much more than she appreciated, so when she stepped off to the side a bit to get a better vantage point, Lita refocused... then gasped audibly. Slapping a hand over her mouth to force back an outburst of immediate sobs, the girl watched helplessly with teary blue's as the gangly boy she loved was beat up on.
The larger man - she could only assume he was Severus' father, as she wasn't sure - was drunk. She could tell with the staggering and miscalculated punches and shoves. Being a victim herself, Lita was well aware of the pain and emotional turmoil that Snape was going through... at least that's what she told herself. Instead of running for help, the girl just threw her back against the side of the house, keeping her hand over her mouth tightly as things quieted down. This was the breakdown. Lita knew it too well. This was the numb, emotionless, monotone feeling of an abuse victim while the attacker left. The silence was deafening, and when she was sure it was over, Lita curled into herself, sobbing into her arms and knees. How had she never known? Why didn't she pick up on the signs? It's because he never gave signs of his abuse... he was rarely flinchy, and he hardly reacted to her hi-- oh, Merlin.
Was that why he frowned and scowled every time she pushed, bumped, and shoved him playfully?
The blonde only cried harder, her stomach flipping with the want to vomit - however no food in her stomach meant no retching. Lita hadn't noticed how much time passed them by... all she knew was it was much darker out now, much later. The emotional girl had all but grown numb herself, simply leaning back against the side of the house and shivering against the cold of the night. How was she supposed to feel? Was she supposed to help Severus? Was she supposed to wait until the holidays were over and confront him about it? No, that didn't work... he'd know she had been spying. Aughh. Why couldn't this be easier? It was the sound of the front door creaking open that finally made Lita perk up, her body tensing and pressed up against the house... until she trained her bright blue's on the beat up boy she loved so dear.
Tugging on her braided pig-tails, Lita watched him for a moment before taking a deep breath and jumping up carefully. Severus was already making steady pace down the street, and Lita had to jog to catch up to him. "Severus." she called out, jogging up beside him and fixing the strands of bangs that hung in her face. She had to have looked like a wreck - her eyes were black with the stain of tears and shadow, and her body was shaking with both fear and extreme confusion. What now? As if she hadn't cried enough, the girl's eyes welled up with tears once more, her sculpted brows furrowing in concern as she trailed her gaze along his beat up form. "Oh... Sev..." Her sweet voice was strangled, and before she could stop herself, she jumped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and clinging to his skinny body. Here come the water works again.
-------------------- she’s walking up to him so slowly. it’s about time, it’s about time to fly away, but wait; this one is different cause she’s lonely. fold your wings, you’ll need them more one day.
TAG; severus snape
NOTES; emotional lita is emotional.
SONG MUSE; a lot of songs from Florence and the Machine |
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Post by severus on May 20, 2012 22:17:28 GMT
“I need a drink,” muttered the tall, imposing Snape as he moved slowly into the kitchen. As he passed the bin, he dropped an empty bottle inside, before moving to the refrigerator for another. His son followed him into the kitchen, a displeased look on his pale face. Severus Snape was not the biggest fan of his father’s actions, though he knew there was little he could do to stop him. That, however, didn’t seem to be enough to stop him from trying, it seemed.
“You need to stop drinking so much,” he informed his father, sliding around him to place himself between his old man and the fridge he was so eager to get to. The taller man glared at his son, almost as though he was looking at an enemy and not someone who was related to him.
“Get out of my way,” he huffed, “can’t talk to your father like that- you’re not the one in charge here, you whelp.” With that, he shoved the boy to the side, watching Severus stumble out of the way before continuing his path to the fridge. He took out another couple of bottles, placing one on the nearby counter top as he popped the top off the other. Taking a long drink, he made sure to make a point of his alcohol consumption before bringing his black eyes back to his son. Most said Severus had fathomless, frightening eyes, though they might reconsider if they ever saw the eyes of his father’s. In comparison, he had a warm, welcoming stare. Severus straightened himself, still frowning as he glared back at his old man. There was no way of stopping a fight one way or another, and it seemed Severus had grown tired of stepping on eggshells.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not a kid anymore,” he snapped, “don’t you see what you’re doing? You’re destroying yourself, just like you destroyed this family. If it wasn’t for this drinking, maybe mum-“ he hadn’t expected the hand he had received to the side of his face for his comment, Severus stumbling into the counter as his father suddenly advanced on him. “Stop!” he hissed, “I’m only trying to help you!” He moved a hand to his burning cheek, looking up at Tobias.
The older man didn’t look happy.
“Don’t you blame what happened to your mother on me!” he roared, “she left us because of you, you worthless little ingrate. You and your stupid magic!”
“She was a witch!” Severus shot back, bracing himself against the counter as he tried, once again, to make some kind of stand against his father, “you never let her live that part of her life. You were always scared of her power, just like you’re scared of mine!” Another hit, this one right to his stomach. Gasping, Severus moved a hand around his stomach, the wind knocked from his sails from the powerful blow. Tobias wasn’t a wizard, but he certainly had power in him, and for a boy who lacked physical strength and couldn’t use his magic outside of Hogwarts, that had always been a bit of a problem. Tobias took hold of his son’s hair, straightening him up to look him in the eyes.
“Me? Scared of you? Don’t make me laugh! Your power’s disgusting- the whole magic thing is an abomination! You’re nothing, and never forget that. I should have never brought you home from the hospital. Your mother killed herself because she couldn’t stand the sight of you anymore- I don’t blame her for that.” He let go of his son’s hair, turning from him and taking another drink from his beer bottle. Severus sank against the counter, resting his elbows on the top of it. Watching his father, he growled, fighting off the heat that was rushing over his face. That urge to cry was attacking, but he did everything in his power to swallow it back down again. If he let his emotions get the better of him, he knew his father would only take advantage of it. There was no way of winning against his old man, he could see that now, but at least he could keep some of his dignity, his pride, when he ultimately lost.
“I just want you to stop,” he said faintly, a good deal of his strength washed from his voice, “I… don’t want to do this anymore.” For a moment, Tobias stopped, looking at his son with something that could almost be considered a more caring expression. It passed by quickly, a sudden surge of rage, guilt and confusion filling the man and causing him to lash out suddenly.
“Shut your trap!” Tobias howled, swinging his hand around and slamming it on top of his son’s head. It was only when he heard the glass shatter, saw the beer splashing, that he realized he had swung his beer bottle down on Severus. Meanwhile, Severus crumpled to the floor, spots in his eyes. For a moment, he thought he might pass out, though managed to fight it off long enough to take a confused glance around the room. Everything was spinning. His father was standing over him, kicking him. It felt like it would never end. Minutes ticked by as eternities, every second spanning hours in his mind. Then, finally, it just… stopped. Like his father was suddenly bored by the whole thing. Though he didn’t open his eyes immediately, Severus could hear his father stomp out of the room, off to the bedroom to sleep off his alcohol abuse, no doubt.
For a while, Severus didn’t do anything. He just stayed put, letting the pain in his body throb unrelenting for some time. Eventually, though, he felt he could actually push himself to his feet, groaning as he did so. It felt like his whole body was going to turn into a giant bruise after that one. His head had to have been bleeding. Honestly, he didn’t want to check. He didn’t want to deal with what had just happened to him. All he wanted to do was get out of there for a little while.
Maybe they both needed some time to calm down.
Coughing, groaning, the potions prodigy moved slowly out of the kitchen, aware that he would probably have to clean the mess up once he got back from his walk. No matter- at least it gave him something to do instead of thinking about how much his life sucked. In the meantime, he was just going to get some air and give his father a chance to pass out. Then he would be able to take care of the man without actually having to deal with him. Not having him shouting was the best way to go about things, he really needed to learn that. Sticking up for himself was simply a waste of his energy. Tobias was just like the marauders, if they were crazy-ass monsters who wanted to make him bleed. Yes, he thought the marauders were better than his father. When he was home, he always seemed to miss Hogwarts.
Bring on the pranks.
Slipping out the door, he ventured slowly down the street, a limp in his step as he moved along. Damn, his body hurt. Maybe he would just go to the park and lie down in the grass. That seemed… the best idea. A nap. After a head injury. Yup. Nothing wrong with that plan.
He was on his way to the park when a voice caused him to jump, shooting pain through him like he’d been punched all over again. Wincing, he turned, ready to yell at the person who had disturbed him. Who he saw surprised him- what the hell?! “Lita?!” he gasped, flabbergast. She looked upset, but he couldn’t figure out why. Before he could string together a sentence and ask, she was around him, holding onto him for dear life. Wincing, he moved his hands to the sides of her waist, carefully trying to pull her off of him.
“Lita, are you insane?! What are you doing here?” He instantly looked past her, back towards his quiet house. If Tobias saw her…
“This… you shouldn’t be here!” Oh God, he was so embarrassed. For her to see him like this, bloody and beaten, it was… beyond anything he would have wanted. He didn’t even know why, but it stung mercilessly knowing that she was seeing him in such a state. All he could do was turn away from her, so she couldn’t look him in the eyes.
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Post by lita on May 21, 2012 3:16:07 GMT
one more day down these stairs, his room is cold now and it hurts like hell. he holds tight, he stares. it’s almost over and it’s running through his head. they don’t know me, they don’t know more than i show.
-------------------- His gasp of her name - obviously stunned at her presence - had Lita only gripping his shirt more steadily with her fingers. Had she gripped any harder, her knuckles probably would have grown white with strain. His wince hadn't gone un-noticed, however, and the girl released him slightly, leaning back a bit to give him his space and allow him to breathe. Severus' hands on her hips, pulling her back, had Lita wincing; her right hip still bruised from the fight she had had with her step-father. Finally allowing herself to step back a little, teary eyed blues gazed up at him as he looked past her. Glancing over her shoulder quickly, Lita offered a small sigh, shaking her head gently and then reaching for his arm.
One victim to another, Lita knew he was worried about a lot, and one thing going through his head would always be his father seeing him.
Was she insane? Perhaps. It was sure suicide, what Lita was about to do. Approach a newly beaten victim? Not normally something wise. In the emotional state he was in, he was bound to mood swing like nobodies business. But the blonde needed to know... could she help him, or had the beating gone on so long that he was beyond repair? It was worth a shot at least. Sometimes people could be saved. Lita... was a bit of a hypocrit. Grabbing his arm gently, she lead him off the side of the road, and along a small trail between two houses towards a children's park she had gotten drunk at a few days ago with her cousins. Staying quiet a moment, Lita shifted her hand - running it along his forearm with tenderness - and then finally took his hand in hers. Whether or not he was in the mood for holding hands was beyond her, but she figured the gentle touch of someone who cared would be helpful in some way. "I'm living with my cousins right now... on Galena Drive." Small sigh escaped, but she kept her eyes on the trail ahead of them and once they reached the park, she sat them both down on the nearest park bench.
Thinking back to Severus' words, the girl sighed deeply, her shoulders slouching and her head bowing as she tried to compose herself. "Why shouldn't I be here?" she finally managed to mumble quietly, and she willed herself to turn to him. He was turned away, obviously attempting to hide his pain and heart break from her. Not so easy with someone who knew the feeling. Reaching out hesitantly, Lita let her finger tips brush against Severus' forehead, running the length of his cheek and jaw before pausing at his chin. Turning his face so he was forced to look at her, the blonde bit her lip, choking back another sob that threatened to escape. He looked terrible... not in the "unattractive" terrible that would be considered ugly... but he was bruised and cut... oh, he did not look great at all.
Shutting her eyes tightly and swallowing hard, Lita let out a shakey breath, letting her lids snap open so she could trail her blues along his face, neck, shoulders and arms. His chest, sides, waist and legs. He was broken... his body cracked. "Why wouldn't I be here with someone I care about so much?" With a motherly tenderness, Lita let her hands run along his arms, pulling his sleeves up to gaze and pat at each scrape, gash and bruise. Finally lifting her hands to rest on each side of Severus' face, Lita tilted her head ever so slightly, trying to catch his eyes with her own. "Severus... Why didn't you... I don't..." Finally at a loss for words, Lita did the only thing she could think of doing... and that was pull him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck in another embrace. Part of it was to comfort them both... another was to hide her own face and the split lip she had done her best to cover up earlier that day. "Please, don't be mad at me..." she whispered against his neck, nuzzling against him. "I heard shouting when I was walking by... I had to see if... if I could help, and when I saw it was you, I just... I... I should have helped you, I should have helped you..." More water works; tears streaming down her cheeks as she nuzzled into his neck and shoulder.
It was as if that's all she could say now. Lita was stuck on repeat. "I'm so sorry, I should have helped you. I'm so sorry. I should have helped you."
-------------------- she’s walking up to him so slowly. it’s about time, it’s about time to fly away, but wait; this one is different cause she’s lonely. fold your wings, you’ll need them more one day.
TAG; severus snape
NOTES; emotional lita is emotional.
SONG MUSE; a lot of songs from Florence and the Machine |
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Post by severus on May 27, 2012 23:52:34 GMT
Severus followed her, mostly because he didn’t have much of a choice, as she led him away from his house. It was what he had been doing anyway, though he was a little nervous that she was now with him. If his father came out looking for him, which was rare but could happen, he would shove her in the nearest bush and pretend to be alone. Might be uncomfortable for her, but eh, he would do what was needed to keep her safe. Tobias was not to be trusted when he was drunk, he already knew that much. He was used to getting his ass handed to him by his old man, but he wasn’t going to let other people get involved. Especially not people he actually considered friends- they were very rare for him.
Sitting down on the park bench, Severus let out a sigh. His stomach ached, making it difficult for him to move around quickly. But, to be fair, he had been kicked several times in the gut before his old man left again. It was justified that he wasn’t feeling his best.
Why was he so concerned with images right at that moment, anyway? It was only Lita there with him, and it wasn’t like he could hide how he looked, even if he wanted to. Maybe his mind was just a bit addled from the whole… adventure.
When she made him, Severus looked at her, frowning as he took in her frame. She looked very unhappy, like she was the one dealing with the beating of a lifetime. Did she really feel that kind of compassion for someone like him? He hadn’t thought anyone would be upset by him getting hurt. Parties, sure, but not sorrow. Watching her expression, he frowned. She probably thought he looked horrible, all bruised and battered. There was blood all down the right side of his face, from his head where he had been struck by the beer bottle. No doubt he had quite the cut on his head, somewhere within his black hair. It hurt like hell, that was for sure, and made it a bit difficult to see. Or maybe that was the black eye, the swelling the real culprit. In any case, he knew he probably didn’t look like a movie star.
Everything hurt- he just wanted to pass out for a bit. But, aware he probably had a concussion, he did his best to fight off those feelings and keep his attention focused on Lita.
Severus couldn’t have imagined what happened next. She was crying, feeling so guilty, because she hadn’t managed to help him? But what could she have done? They couldn’t use magic and she was just a young girl. She didn’t need to sit there thinking she could have saved him from his father. Frowning, he moved his hands around her, doing his best to comfort her, even if the contact did hurt him a little bit. He was in pain anyway- why not bring some good from it? “There’s nothing you could have done,” he told her faintly, “this is… just normal for me. I’m not mad at you… I was just worried about you getting hurt, that’s all. Tobias… isn’t very nice when he’s drunk, nor is he very picky about who he takes his anger out on.” More than once he’d gotten a call from the cops, telling him his father was in prison thanks to a bar fight.
All too normal.
Moving back from her again, he smiled faintly, resting a hand against her cheek. “It’s alright… really…” he said faintly, tilting his head slightly to one side. “You don’t need to look so upset… I promise I’m alright. Just a little bruised.” He was lying, but he didn’t want her to know that. Maybe it would help her feel better if he assured her he was fine. Smiling lightly, pat her cheek, ignoring the pain running through his body.
“Buck up… it’s okay.” He swallowed a knot in his throat. Why was he feeling so upset? It wasn’t by what had happened, but by how she had reacted to it.
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Post by lita on May 28, 2012 15:46:40 GMT
one more day down these stairs, his room is cold now and it hurts like hell. he holds tight, he stares. it’s almost over and it’s running through his head. they don’t know me, they don’t know more than i show.
-------------------- Feeling his arms around her, Lita pushed her face more into Severus' shoulder, hiding her tears and not particularly caring at the moment if her make-up stained his shirt. Unwillingly, she loosened her grip as he began speaking; his hushed tone did do wonders to calm her... and yet as she calmed herself, she felt utterly embarrased and slightly enraged. Why was she was the one crying so hard? Shouldn't it be Severus seeking comfort?
There was plenty she could have done. Lita didn't care much for the "no magic outside of school" idea. She had used magic a couple of times at home so she wouldn't die of starvation or dehydration, or something equally as stupid. There was nothing saying she wouldn't use magic to save the boy she loved. Okay, good... he wasn't mad, but if what he was saying was true... they had a lot more in common than she realized. A forced laugh was let go, and the girl shook her head, an almost sarcastic look to her features. "Sounds like Tobias and Samuel would be best friends... or kill each other. One or the other." Her tone was hushed, slightly hoarse and squeaky from having been crying so much this night. A deep sigh shook her, and she finally leaned back a bit, her body's natural reaction to flinch when he lifted his own hand was ten-fold after the recent events that had unfolded not only with her, but with Severus. However, when she found his palm laying against her cheek gently, Lita simply leaned into it heavily, water sky blue's blinking up at the boy.
She didn't need to look so upset? There was plenty to be upset about.
"It's not alright, Severus." she mumbled quietly, blue's flicking to her lap a moment before decidedly resting on his bloodied face. "If this is normal for you, you're not alright. You're not just bruised." When he pat her cheek and said it was all okay, Lita had to swallow past the bubble of frustration. Lita was the biggest hypocrit when it came to these sorts of situations. She always did the same thing Severus was doing now. Saying it was all going to be fine. "It's not okay, Sev." the blonde huffed, staring at him hard now, her expression serious. Her tears had all but died down, but her voice was monotoned and her body was stiff. Frustration almost slid past in her words, but she kept her voice as steady as she could.
"From one victim to another, Severus... nothing will be okay. You may just... feel battered and bruised but it runs so much deeper."
A slow sigh hissed through her parted painted lips, and Lita shuffled a bit, pulling the sleeve of her shirt up to her palm so she could rub at the make-up on her face. Wiping off the lip gloss, the cover-up, and the eyeshadow the best she could without just smudging it around, the revealed what she had been trying to conceal. A bruised cheek - healing, but still a little green. Split lips, both bottom and top. A black eye that had been healing a lot slower than she wanted... hence the dark eye make-up. Dipping her chin down a moment, the girl lifted her face to stare at the sky that was beginning to sparkle with stars before finally settling on Severus with a furrowed brow. "I can't just sit back, buck up, and pretend everything is alright and we're just a couple of friends hanging out at the park." she snapped, though her tone was still quite submissive. "Not only am I a beaten rag doll, but the boy I... the boy I... Severus, I care about you, okay? And now that I know you're being beat, I just... It's not fair!" Lita growled, shifting her weight so she could grab both of Severus' hands in her own. Trailing her thumb over his surprisingly soft flesh, Lita stared at their hands a moment before swallowing hard.
"I would do anything. Absolutely anything in the world to make sure you're kept safe. What would you like, do you need money to get somewhere? Do you want to stay with me, or... or do you... what do you want, Severus?"
Pleading. Always pleading.
-------------------- she’s walking up to him so slowly. it’s about time, it’s about time to fly away, but wait; this one is different cause she’s lonely. fold your wings, you’ll need them more one day.
TAG; severus snape
NOTES; emotional lita is emotional.
SONG MUSE; a lot of songs from Florence and the Machine |
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